we have yet to know
by NeueHaasGrotesk
Summary: Vampires!AU in which Hakuba and Edogawa are both vampires, with Kuroba and Hattori as their providers. HakuKai
1. Chapter 1

Author's notes: Shinichi is a separate character in this universe, and is, for the most part, conveniently missing. Also featuring friendship, slow build friends to awkward lovers, lots of awkward Hakuba and whatever I can think of. I just want an excuse to roll around like a pig in this verse. All chapters unbetaed. No specific plot for this series, other than me getting Kuroba and Hakuba together. There isn't enough HakuKai to sate my needs (and I blame my enablers for pushing me to write HakuKai when I ship KaiShin and now I'm in it deep).

* * *

 **1.**

"You're still obsessed with the Kuroba kid?"

Hakuba doesn't give Conan the satisfaction of turning around and giving the boy an actual glare. Instead, he scrolls to the bottom of the page, then saves the information for later perusal. "It's not an obsession. I am only working in the best interests of the public to put a known criminal behind bars."

There's a moment when there is nothing but the sound of the soccer replay on the TV, then Conan shifts from where he is on the sofa to pillow his head on the armrest. "Whatever helps you sleep at night, Saguru-nii san."

* * *

"Oww ~ OUCH!" Hands grab onto his shoulders, finger digging painfully in through his uniform. "One of these days, I'm going to lodge a complaint against you for mistreatment. I swear you're doing it on purpose."

"You signed the agreement," Hakuba reminds him, lapping over the small wound he's made before blood could stain the clothes. He does so hate making a mess.

"Yes, and I regret that decision every single day." Kuroba lets go of Hakuba's shoulders, and crosses his arms before him. "Hurry up, I have a soccer game to play. No one's going to wait all day."

It has been two weeks since Hakuba's moved in to Ekoda, Japan, and two weeks since Kuroba Kaito has been signed on as his secondary. His primary had been reluctant to leave England, seeing as she was still studying for her Masters, and so he had to contract someone else for their blood temporarily, at least for the period of time that he will be in Japan. It is a nifty system, one that works for both parties' benefit, a legal business contract fully recognised by the law. Humans are free to sign up for the programme, providing their blood as either a primary provider or a secondary for vampires at a cost stated in their contract, with stringent laws set in place to protect both parties.

Bless his luck that of all the candidates in Japan, he's managed to contract Kaitou Kid (not that the boy has admitted to it, but it's still a work in progress on Hakuba's end) as his secondary.

"You really should think about why his name is on the list," Conan had told him disapprovingly while hanging over the back of the sofa with a book he is trying to read upside down when he discovered Hakuba's apparent 'obsession'.

Conan, Hakuba feels, needs to learn to keep his opinions to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**2.**

"Your takeaway delivery is here," Kaitou sing songs as he unbuttons his outer shirt, strolling into Hakuba's study. "Hello, Conan. Is that homework?"

Hakuba's immediate response is beautiful: he nearly upsets his cup of tea, drops his pen, and begins spluttering. Kaito aims a triumph grin at Conan, who only looks unimpressed, and returns to his homework. It looks a little complicated for his age, and Kaito whistles when he sneaks a peek at the topmost question.

"Someone's jumping grades, I see."

"Aren't you here for Hakuba nii-san?" And ouch, the boy is cold as ever. Still, it doesn't stop him from producing a lollipop from his hand with a flourish.

"I brought you candy," Kaito says when Conan only stares at the brightly wrapped candy. "You put it in your mouth, and you eat it." He grins when Conan snatches it out of his hand, the young vampire glaring balefully from behind his large spectacles. "One day you'll be as clever as your Hakuba-nii san."

Conan puts up with his ruffling his hair for about three seconds, then bats his hand away irritably. "I hope not."

"Manners, Conan-kun." Hakuba clears his throat, having recovered from his little coughing fit. "Kuroba, please don't talk about yourself like that."

"Why not? It's true." He sheds his shirt, and tugs at the collar of the thin cotton shirt he's wearing underneath to further expose his neck. "Come here and get your food. I don't want to be standing here all day."

* * *

A.N: A relatively short one. Come visit me my tumblr 5160763.


	3. Chapter 3

**3.**

Hakuba always bites a little harder after a heist.

Kaito is all too aware of the sharp, blue eyes on him just a feet away as sharp teeth pierce through his skin to tap into his jugular, digging into his flesh in search of the vein. On any other day, Kaito would be kicking up a fuss about the pain just to annoy Hakuba, but he only stares up at the dark ceiling with watering eyes, biting back on the groan of pain that the bite elicits, and cards his fingers gently through soft blonde hair in an attempt to distract himself. He cannot help the sharp intake of air when teeth slide out from his flesh with a quiet sucking noise, and tightens his hold on the back of Hakuba's neck warningly, glancing towards Conan, who is still sucking impassively on his carton of strawberry milk, and doesn't seem to have noticed much yet.

Relaxing back into the cushions now that the worst of it is over, Kaito pets at Hakuba's hair absently while the vampire feeds from him. Conan is still young, highly impressionable the way children are, even though he is by far too mature for his age (Kaito blames that bit on Hakuba). It wouldn't be good if he somehow gets the impression by watching them that feeding from the neck hurts his provider. He is still feeding from the wrist, not having learned to latch on properly yet due to his age. Feeding doesn't have to hurt, but since it is Hakuba's way of getting back at him after a heist, Kaito allows him the small victories. It just isn't something that Kaito would want for Conan to pick up on, just saying.

Speaking of heists - last night had been _hilarious_. The Kid task force had put up a merry goose chase for him through the museum. Nakamori-keibu had even been sporting enough to try to trick a trickster, which he really appreciates, but saw through that one rather quickly. He had left them in a tangle of silly string and confetti while making off with the target on the fifth floor, and Hakuba he had personally left in the Glass Gallery with a giant expanding balloon that had held him stuck against the glass wall. The media had apparently found it hilarious, and had taped it all down until the task force came to the detective's rescue. Kaito made sure he's taped down the news recording of it, as well as bookmarking all the videos uploaded to youtube.

All in all, a great night for Kaito and a terribly humiliating one for Hakuba, even though the target did not turn out to be Pandora, but that was already expected.

Hakuba is lapping at his neck, tongue dragging over the puncture marks, so that means that he is probably done with his feeding. Kaito glances down at his watch. Ten minutes, so the detective was likely pretty hungry. He doesn't blame him - anyone would be after having to run up and down multiple flights of stairs for the night.

"How old until chibi learns to latch onto here?" Kaito taps a finger above the bite wound on his neck when Hakuba pulls away. "Geez, Hakuba, you hungry caterpillar."

"He's old enough to learn how to, as and when he wants," Hakuba glances at Conan, who turns away, making a show out of ignoring them before sliding off the armchair and making for the door. "I was thinking of maybe teaching him how next week, when Hattori comes by and he can practice."

"I see. Are we demonstrating?"

"If you are willing."

"I don't mind." Kaito sighs through his nose. The side of his neck was uncomfortably wet and cold. "Think I'm gonna rest for a bit. Still gotta get groceries after."

He's carefully maneuvering himself up into a sitting position when Conan returns, and dumps an armful of fresh fruit, juice boxes, and a collection of snacks into his lap, along with a soft blanket.

"Wow, not that I'm not grateful for the concern, but what is with all the food?" Kaito sits up, rescuing a box of pocky from falling off his lap onto the floor, closing his eyes against the initial faintness the movement causes. "I can't possibly eat all of this."

"You will if you don't want to faint again," Conan points at the small pile. "Rest before you leave. No running out the door."

"You're bossy for your age," Kaito grumbles, tearing the wrapper for the straw and sticking it into the juice box as Hakuba's gaze sharpens from the other end of the sofa.

"What is this about fainting, Kuroba?"

Conan, the little traitor, answers for him before he can get a word in.

"Kaito-nii san fainted in school during extra-curricular activities," Conan says, returning to his perch on Hakuba's armchair. "On Thursday."

Kaito can see when Hakuba makes the connection between his feeding on Wednesday night, right after his heist on Monday, and his little incident on Thursday, and quickly tears into a banana just for something to do.

"Why wasn't I notified?" Hakuba demands, turning onto Kuroba who immediately stuffs the fruit into his mouth.

"They notified me," Conan says, pulling the heavy textbook back onto his lap. "And I notified you."

"Sending me a text that says 'Go easier on Kaito-nii san' doesn't count as notification, Conan."

"Uh," Kaito cuts in, flinching when Hakuba immediately glares at him. "It wasn't as serious or as dramatic as it sounds like. Just a… couple of late nights playing video games and not enough sleep."

"Shut up, Kuroba," Hakuba says cheerfully, a terrifying fact when in their current context, before he turns back to the child vampire sitting across of him. "Conan, this is no laughing matter. I expect to be notified by phone immediately if something is the matter with Kuroba's health. He is my secondary, and it is my responsibility to take care of him, especially when my feeding will stress his body. Do you understand, Conan? Do _not_ leave me out of the loop when it pertains to Kuroba's health condition."

"That's a little harsh, Hakuba… " Kaito immediately regrets opening his mouth when Hakuba rounds on him.

"And you," his classmate jabs a finger at him. "Strenuous exercise is not recommended after a blood donation, much less a feed. _What were you thinking_?"

"Look, I've always been fine with it after a feed, so long as I watch my fluid intake. I _told_ you. It's nothing serious. Besides, I told Conan not to tell you specifically because it was just the way I was handling myself and not you. Not everything has to do with you, you arrogant bastard."

The expected anger never comes, Hakuba only gazing at him steadily until he has to look away. "It is never my intention to hurt you."

"It's the late nights and the video games," Kaito mutters mulishly. "Nothing to do with you at all."

"Even then, I am partially to blame, at least." Hakuba looks overly serious, eyes boring into Kaito. "I am sorry."

"Yeah, no," Kaito desperately wishes that he is currently elsewhere, made uneasy by how seriously Hakuba was taking all of this. True, he had fainted, but it was only because he had gotten light headed while looking up at the soccer ball the goalkeeper had sent going over his head, toppling over when his sense of balance suddenly went, and then the next thing he knew he was waking up in the infirmary. "I just need more sleep. You're not responsible for my bedtime hours."

The guilt on Hakuba's face eats at him, and Kaito sucks noisily on his juice box so he wouldn't have to look at him. He starts, when Hakuba reaches for him, only to shift the pile of food off his lap onto the tea table, unfolding the blanket and tucking it carefully around him with uncharacteristic gentleness. "I apologise, Kuroba. I will be more careful."

Kaito mumbles something about exams and fluid intake, wiping the drying saliva from his neck with a corner of the blanket. The wound has scabbed over by now, aided by the healing properties of Hakuba's saliva, though the edges of the puncture marks are still puffy and painful when Kaito brushes his fingers across them.

"You're staying for dinner," Hakuba says decisively, with no room for argument, and then dramatically sweeps out of the room.

"I don't drink blood, and you just had dinner," Kaito points out lamely to the vacated side of the sofa, and then turns to the child vampire who is calmly studying him. "He cooks?"

"It would have been terrible if you did not faint in school, but at a heist, instead," Conan says evenly, hands pressed together before him in a pose he's learned off of Hakuba. "Don't you think so?"

"I'm careful," Kaito grumbles, wriggling about for a comfortable position. "I wouldn't. And I'm not Kid."

"Whatever you say, Kid-sama," Conan agrees easily, and the last thing Kaito sees is his sly smile before he drops off to sleep.

* * *

It turns out that Hakuba does cook. As in, actual human food and kitchen knife plus cookbook cooking. With an apron.

Kaito hovers near the kitchen door as Hakuba effortlessly slices and dices up vegetables for a soup. There's something that smells like chicken in the oven, and there's a bowl of washed potatoes by his elbow.

"I'm surprised that you keep food in your kitchen," Kaito says eventually as Hakuba tips the sliced carrots into the bubbling pot. "I'm surprised that you can _cook_."

"Fiona taught me how to. It is only polite that I provide for her when she has done the same for me."

"You've never cooked for me," Kaito grumbles, slouching against the door frame and pulling a chocolate bar out of his pocket. Hakuba glances backward, stirring the pot of soup. "I feel… well, not offended. Missing out. Yes."

He looks up when Hakuba confiscates his chocolate, protesting when the blonde vampire shuts the candy into the fridge. "I'm remedying that now. If you can bring yourself to stay in my presence voluntarily after a feeding, then I will happily cook for you. No spoiling your appetite before dinner."

"I keep separate stomachs for food and dessert. Don't be mean, I need to get my blood sugar back up."

"You mean you're hoping to give yourself diabetes." Hakuba snorts. "Why don't you go entertain yourself with Conan? Dinner will take at least another twenty five minutes, if nothing burns."

Kaito watches Hakuba cook, the silence comfortable with just the sound of bubbling pots and sizzling food. Clearly Hakuba has expected him to have gone back to the living room, because his knife slips when Kaito next speaks again, Hakuba letting loose a rapid string of expletives in English.

"Wow, Hakuba," Kaito whistles, raising an eyebrow. "I had no idea that you had that in you."

"There are many things that you are not familiar with in regards to me," Hakuba sucks in air between his teeth. "That was nearly my finger. Pardon me, what did you just say?"

"I said," Kaito says, carefully not looking at Hakuba, instead off to the side down the empty corridor. "Is that the general impression that I give you?"

"Aside from you being annoying? Stop itching at your bandage, Kuroba."

Kaito manages to pull his hand away with some difficulty and reluctance, jamming it into his pocket so he wouldn't try to peel the bandage off next. "I'm wounded," he sighs, more to himself than to Hakuba.

"What? Kuroba, you have to stop mumbling to yourself over there. I can't hear you." There's a clatter as Hakuba rinses the dirty pans and ingredient bowls in the sink. "Speak louder."

Kaito sighs again, a long exhale of air through his nose, and then slouches off back in search of Conan, whom he finds sitting in the middle of a haphazard pile of books on the floor, all of them evidently having been pulled out from the bottom shelf of Hakuba's bookshelf.

"Hey, chibi." Conan spares him a disinterested glance when he joins him on the floor, settling down cross-legged next to a pile of magazines. "Are you treasure hunting?"

"Shinichi-nii san wants me to look for an old article for him," comes the absent reply, the kid riffling quickly through a book before setting it aside. "Hakuba-nii san is busy right now."

Kaito spots Hakuba's phone lying buried under a stack, and retrieves it. "You shouldn't snoop into Hakuba's phone, Conan. That's a violation of personal privacy."

"Like what you are doing now, you mean?" Conan beams at him, and Kaito carefully locks the phone again, setting it aside. Damn perceptive kid. "I won't tell!"

"No, I'm not."

"Liar." The kid's grin is startlingly bright, and Kaito finds himself reluctantly returning it, a wave of affection for the boy sweeping through him. Conan is often distant, spacey and cold until he gets his teeth into something spine-chillingly morbid and gruesome (exhibit a: a murder), and then he is all chirpy bright and happy. He's a little genius, no doubt, and as annoying as he can be sometimes, standoffish and sarcastic (he doesn't realise that children can learn sarcasm at Conan's age, but then again he could have just been a special case), Kaito has a giant soft spot for him.

"Tidy up your mess when you're done." He pats Conan on the head, slowly getting to his feet to make for the sofa, wrapping the blanket on it around his shoulders.

"Okay," Conan agrees.

He does, but it is out of the order that Hakuba had originally shelved them in, so Kaito takes it upon himself to reshelf them, the little twerp running off to send an email to his brother with the old, cut-out article that Conan's found slipped between the pages of a book. Some of the books are dusty, and he gives them a wipe before shelving them again.

When there is nothing else for him to do, he presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, sighing loudly to the empty room. "It's just a job," he says aloud. "Shit."

* * *

A.N: I really enjoy writing Conan and Kaito's interactions - mostly because Conan is young enough to get away with his cheek without any repercussions, and Kaito has a soft spot for him, like, the size of a to-scale accurate Africa, so he just lets him (and so do I). And that Kaito is getting attached despite himself to their little family even though he's probably promised himself he won't and he's like 'no not this why the human heart is traitorous and I wanna sue' wwww. I also entertain fantasies of Shinichi being one of the prestigious lines, but that gets us nowhere (and boosts Conan's ego too much). Hope you enjoyed that!


	4. Chapter 4

Kaito is sprawled out across the sofa, practising his sleight of hand when someone taps the top of his head lightly.

"Hey, Kuroba." Hattori peers over the backrest. "We're heading out. Wanna tag along?"

"We?" Kaito repeats, just as Conan peers around the armrest at him. "Where to?"

"Beika, for food. It's mostly an excuse to stop Conan from turning into a bookworm." Hattori shrugged, looking down at his young charge. "Doing more age appropriate activities, for one."

That earns him a glare from Conan, before the child tugs on Kaito's sleeve, jangling a coin purse in his face. "Come with us. I'm paying."

He's pulling the little pout that he usually reserves for people who are not Kaito, blue eyes bright and eager behind his spectacles. Kaito blinks, then vanishes the deck of cards he's been practising with up his sleeves with a snap of his fingers. "Who am I to disobey our little prince?"

Conan narrows his eyes slightly when he holds his hand to his lips briefly, then snatches his hand back to wipe his fingers on Hattori's jacket. "Incorrigible."

"Did you learn that from Hakuba? Kids shouldn't use words that they don't know." Kaito gets up from the sofa to retrieve his jacket, phone and wallet. "Also, no one in their right mind is going to let a kid pay for their outing."

"I wanna." The kid's childish act is in full force today.

"Right, okay, is everybody ready to leave?" Hattori steps in before the both of them can start a childish argument with each other. "Conan, here, put your purse into your bag. Clever boy."

"Don't insult my intelligence."

"Okay, okay… "

They make their way slowly to the train station, Kaito trailing just a step behind them, watching as Hattori engaged Conan in small talk, holding hands, the teenager stooping just slightly to accommodate Conan. It's sweet how Conan plays the wide-eyed, innocent child whenever he is in Hattori's presence, voice pitched upwards as he asks Hattori a barrage of questions. Kaito doesn't get the whole sullen, mature act that he often gets from Conan, but he supposes that children like to play certain roles with certain people, vampire children included. That said, the boy has likely learned it from Hakuba, who never has a good word for him.

He had first met Hattori back in February, when he had been over in Hakuba's house for a feeding and a school project. The brown skinned boy was Conan's primary, as he came to find out when he had accidentally walked in on Conan's feeding, the child drinking from Hattori's wrist as the other chided him about not feeding so lazily before he developed a bad habit.

The second thing that he finds out is that Hattori Heiji is also a detective, just like Hakuba and Conan's brother, and Conan himself, although Conan is just an apprentice due to his age.

(The little tyke does have the I-am-now-suspecting-you look and accusation pose down pat, no thanks to both detectives' influence, and Kaito supposes that can be congratulatory in itself. It's funny, if nothing else.)

Ever since that particularly interesting tidbit had come to light, Kaito had taken care to avoid Hattori as much as possible. It isn't a major concern, seeing as even Hakuba and Conan have difficulty in proving his identity as an international jewel thief despite them spending a lot of their time together. Still, Kaito prefers to be careful, and hence the avoiding.

"Have you had lunch yet, Kuroba?"

They're on the train to Beika, Conan sitting docilely on Hattori's lap. It's impressive how well Hattori has him behaving. Before he can think twice, while Conan is still distracted by the passing scenery over Hattori's shoulder, Kaito discreetly snaps a photo and stows it away.

"No, not yet. You?"

"Nope. How do you feel about okonomiyaki?" Hattori doesn't react to Kaito sneaking a photo of Conan. His protective tendencies towards Conan runs on a different line from Hakuba's, after all. "Granted, it ain't as good as it is in Osaka, but how badly can you screw up okonomiyaki? That's like screwing up miso soup."

"Language," Kaito says, almost on reflex. "I like okonomiyaki. Haven't had it in ages. These days, there is more salad in my fridge than meat."

"What, Hakuba's put you on a diet?" Hattori blinks at him. "That's… unsurprising, actually, but since Conan doesn't have a specific diet for me, I didn't think that he would have set one for you."

"Most of it is expensive leaf and grain nonsense. I put my foot down when he wanted to cut my sugar intake." Kaito snorted. "I'm not complaining, since he is the one paying for the food and my blood. It _is_ supposed to be healthier for me, anyway. It's not a strict diet, so I still get to indulge in some junk food. I don't think we would have gotten along if he was going to police everything that I'm going to put in my mouth."

"Man, sounds tough." Hattori is either simply stoic enough to ignore his meaningful eyebrow waggle, or the innuendo has simply gone right on over his head. "I really wouldn't want to quit rice and ramen for quinoa and millets. I would survive, but that takes the fun out of life. Life is all about eating, especially when you're from Osaka."

"Don't I know it," Kaito groans. "Hakuba says that he's used to it from England, so, whatever. I'm just going to stuff myself with food today."

" _Soy milk,_ " Hattori says, and shudders dramatically.

"Don't diss soy, it keeps me looking pretty. Sides, he likes it. It's bad enough that he's gotta stay in a place he never grew up in for a couple of years. Do vampires ever get homesick?" Kaito winks at a girl sitting across who has been watching them curiously for some time, and grins when she blushes, ducking her head. "Isn't Ekoda a long way from Osaka?"

"Hm, yeah, it doesn't sound very practical, does it? But Kudo's an old family friend, so I don't mind. All of my travel expenses are paid for by his family, and Conan doesn't need much from me, since he is young and all, so we're still good for now. Right, Conan?"

Conan doesn't duck the hand tousling his hair, nodding with a sound of agreement. Hattori smooths the stray strands of hair back into place, then leans back against his seat thoughtfully. "I mean, we will probably have to work something out when he starts hitting puberty, but we'll leave it for now. I still gotta bring him to Osaka one day. There's nothing like eating in Osaka to really learn about what food's all about."

"Does Hakuba object to you raising Conan up on junk food?" Kaito grins. "I was wondering who started him on human food, seeing as Hakuba seldom touches it. Good job, too."

"You're in _Japan_ , you gotta eat." Hattori grimaces, likely imagining a purely liquid diet. "We'll drag him out the next time with us. Or better still - we leave the itinerary with Conan, and Conan can drag him out to eat."

"You have the best ideas, Hattori."

"Don't I just?"

::

Conan is making a mess out of the batter, sloshing it out of the bowl as he mixes it just a little too enthusiastically. He insists on cooking his own okonomiyaki, and since he looks like he is having the time of his life, they let him have at it.

"You're a practising magician, aren't you? Kuroba?" Hattori leans against the table, keeping a careful eye on how Conan is greasing the griddle. He's splashing a little too much oil onto the hotplate, so Kaito mops it up with the provided paper towels.

"I _am_ a magician," Kaito corrects. "I just haven't been on the stage officially yet. Why? Do you like magic, Hattori? Or are you just interested in dissembling all of it like Conan?"

"Ah, it's just - no offense, sorry about that. I'm not trying to insult your… hobby or something."

"You mean my profession."

"Uhm… but your profession is being a… student?"

Kaito cannot help the slight tinge of frost that seeps into his voice, but then slumps backwards into his seat, sighing gustily and pushing the tension in his shoulders out with the air. "It isn't much to you detective types, I know. Not the most stable of professions, or the most well paying, working in - what was it? Trashy, insubstantial entertainment that relies on pulling one over the audience."

"Did something happen?" Hattori has a slightly cautious look to his face, and even Conan turns to look at him. Kaito reaches over to rescue the batter before Conan gets a little too heavy handed with it and creates a two inch pancake on the griddle. "I mean, that's a little harsh, ain't it? I had the impression that you loved magic from Conan."

It is a tense few seconds before Kaito can push himself to speak, and even then, his jaw aches. "Couple of sleepless nights, I guess. Sleep deprivation does me in." Kaito spreads the batter so that it can cook a little easier with the skillet, and pretends not to see Conan studying him with ill-concealed suspicion. "I did. I do. Love magic, I mean. Enough to want to pursue it as a profession, but it's sometimes really rough to keep going. Not that I want to give it up, but it's just tough at times."

"I do know what you mean." Hattori passes the container of nori flakes over to Conan, effectively distracting him from his continuous staring. "There are times when I wonder about what I am doing, or where I'm going with something that I really love. Or whether if all the work I am putting into it amounts to anything, but I suppose that if I can learn to be forgiving with myself and ease up just a little, it doesn't really matter if I don't end up where I thought I should. Like being a professional in kendo. Or what people are going to say about me. Ultimately, people will always talk. You just gotta know when to be deaf to them."

"I suppose you're right," Kaito mutters at length, staring unseeingly at the condiments lined up at the side.

"Just say that I'm right, cause I am." Hattori leans forwards onto his arms against the table. "Would you mind showing me a couple of tricks or two? Conan has high praises for you."

"I said he was passable," Conan mutters.

"Passable, impressive - same thing from you when you spend an hour trying to recreate something Kuroba did. This kid only affords a passing eyeroll for the others, so the fact that he talks about you is impressive in itself."

"I… see," Kaito says slowly, as Conan attempts to flip the cooking pancake clumsily. It doesn't look that appetizing, half uncooked and soggy around the edges, breaking apart in the middle when Conan lifts it up from the grill. "I don't mind."

He has his deck of card up his sleeves, so while Conan mucks around with their food, he shows Hattori a few simple sleight of hand tricks that he usually does for practice. Conan glances over for a little bit, but eventually ignores him when he realises that they're tricks that he's seen before.

Hattori gives a low whistle of appreciation, suitably impressed. "I can't imagine being able to do that. Okay, I lied. I know how you're doing it, but I just can't tell when, and just when I think I do, you pull a twist on me."

"You think?" Kaito shoots the cards from one hand into another, and vanishes the deck.

"I would love to see more," Hattori says honestly, and Kaito feels himself relaxing into a faint smile. "Do you only specialise in card tricks?"

"No, although I am fond of them. You can carry a deck of cards everywhere with you, but not the kind of equipment I prefer for the more dramatic kind of setup that I prefer. There is nothing like a performance that leaves the audience stunned and questioning if physics has broke temporarily, in my opinion. But old fashioned is also good." His smile turns fond when he makes a rubik's cube appear in his hand, vanishing it again.

"That's amazing. Do you hold shows?"

"When I'm free. Studies and exams take the fun out of everything."

"Don't mind if I invite myself to one of your shows some day? Conan, stop spanking the okonomiyaki. It won't be fluffy if you do."

The topic changes naturally into one of Kaito's favourite - arguing about food. He's delighted to find out that Hattori is just about as passionate as he is on the subject, and gladly engages in a brief discussion about whether the addition of milk really makes the batter fluffier, and on which version of okonomiyaki is better. Hattori insists that the ingredients of the okonomiyaki itself is what makes it okonomiyaki, basic ingredients available to most households across Japan, whereas Kaito is of the opinion that it is the batter and the method of cooking that makes the dish an okonomiyaki. Sitting between them, Conan carefully dissects the ugly pancake he's made and drowns it in condiments and aonori before placing a slice of each before his guardians. It tastes as bad as it looks, but Kaito compliments him on his cooking skills regardless, the doughy pancake a touch too salty from the condiments.

"That's admirable, you wanting to be a detective after your dad. My - well." Kaito says, trailing out of the restaurant with them. "Wanna go for ice cream next?"

"He wasn't always a superintendent, and I think watching him slug through various promotions helped shape my perspective into what being a detective is about. I'm pretty good, as a high school student, but at the same time he's taught me that there is more to being a detective than just cracking the case and stopping the crime in the shortest time possible." Hattori rubs at his nose. "I still gotta long way to go. Not that I'm going to tell him, of course. He doesn't approve of my choice of career."

"I think you should." Kaito says thoughtfully. "Even if he doesn't outwardly approve, I think he will be proud of you. Danger kind of comes with the profession, so maybe that's why he doesn't want you to follow in his footsteps. I don't think any parent likes their child actively involved in so much danger."

"Well, I can't bloody well let a case sit unsolved when I can read the clues, can I? If I can do something about solving a murder and returning a modicum of justice to the victims, I bloody well will do it."

"Hakuba-nii san says Hattori-nii san is too impulsive," pipes Conan from between them, who has been mostly silent for the trip. "I want ice cream."

"Yeah? Hakuba doesn't know what he's on about. Don't listen to him, Conan. Unless he's telling you to stay away from crime scenes, then you listen to him."

They go for ice creams, Kaito getting a raspberry sorbet for himself, sweet cream for Conan, and Hattori opting for red bean. Conan insists on paying, so Kaito takes his purse from him, paying with his own coin when Conan is distracted by his melting ice cream, pulling a quick sleight of hand to make it look like he's taking money from the kid's purse.

"Thanks for the treat, Conan," he grins when he hands the purse back to him, Hattori helping him keep it in his bag, the teenager giving him a knowing look when he takes the purse from him.

"The weight's still the same," Hattori whispers when Conan is looking the other way. "Kid's gonna find out."

"Well," Kaito hums. "I don't care."

They take Conan shopping, spending a ridiculous amount of time in a bookstore before heading into a toy store at Kaito's insistence.

"Do you wanna grow your own crystal, Conan?" Hattori shakes a box at the child to a shake of his head. "How about… a microscope?"

"Shinichi-nii gave me a second-hand compound microscope for my birthday."

"Figures," Hattori mutters, shelving the box again. "Okay, how about a good old puzzle? Everyone likes puzzles."

"Shinichi's a detective too, isn't he?" Kaito wanders back over with a stuffed alpaca under his arm. "He any good as you are?"

"Shinichi-nii's amazing," Conan says vehemently, eyes daring him to have a differing opinion about his brother. "He's the _best_."

"Brother complex," Hattori whispers, Kaito lip reading the words off of him. "Who's that for?"

"Me, of course. I get lonely in bed." Kaito whispers back, winking for effect. To Conan, he grins. "Okay, yes. But first, I'll have to meet him to know."

"He's the best," Conan repeats firmly, which is when somebody screams, and Kaito has to run after the two detectives after leaving his stuffed animal at the cashier with a hurried apology.

Of course it turns out to be a murder. Kaito only wishes it was someone screaming because of an unexpected proposal or something. Or some giant mutant spider. Anything but murder, dear god.

As it is, he's nearly runs right into the crime scene, Hattori and Conan already bending over the body on the ground, Hattori searching for a pulse from the victim, before shaking his head.

"I'll call the police," Kaito offers, phone already out, Conan darting away in search of evidence.

After that, there isn't much to do but to wait, keeping an eye on the key suspects that Hattori has singled out, while the two detectives work the crime scene and do their thing, mostly poking at the corpse and other bits of seemingly unrelated things (to his untrained eye).

The victim's a young man, gangly with pockmarked skin and who looks like the type that thrives better at 3AM than 3PM. The stillness of the corpse is unsettling, and Kaito tries his best not to look at the man's open, unseeing eyes, gaze filmed over by death. Someone should cover him up, he feels, but he also doesn't want to disturb the crime scene, except that the expression that the victim is wearing is looking more gnarled and sinister by the minute, and Kaito wants away from the gruesome evidence of careless violence. The knowledge that someone has put the body there on purpose entirely by choice, and that the same someone is probably standing close to them sends his skin crawling all over.

It's the best poker face anyone could ever wear, he thinks darkly. To knowingly masquerade as an innocent bystander when beneath that they are someone who doesn't value another human life.

The police arrives quickly, thankfully, and Kaito leaves it to them, excusing himself for a bench a good distance from the scene. Hattori and Conan have already figured out the method, so there isn't much left to go. He clasps his hands before him, focusing on deep breathing and pushing the image of the dead body out of his mind. It isn't his first encounter with dead bodies, what with him often visiting Hakuba and Conan. The former is careful to keep his case files away from him, but Conan himself has no issues whatsoever with using the kitchen table so that he can better look at the photos.

(They're both vampires, so it makes sense that Conan doesn't care, but _still_.)

And, alright, he is probably still unbalanced by the consecutive couple of nights that he's been dreaming of his father's death in hi-def detail, but _nothing_ justifies murder. He thinks Hattori or Hakuba will be able to walk him through the thought processes of a murderer that brought them to the grand finale a la dead body in public in fine detail, but murder is just something that he absolutely refuses to understand.

( _What's it like, dwelling in the heads of murderers most of the time?_ It's a question that Kaito longs to ask Hakuba about, but has never been able to bring himself to. He doesn't want to understand.

He doesn't want to forgive them.)

"It's impossible to wear an identity without becoming what you pretend to be, huh" Kaito mutters to himself, then starts violently when someone touches his shoulder.

"You okay there, Kuroba?" Hattori pulls his hand back, then gestures vaguely to his own face. "You're looking a bit green."

"What? Yeah. Fine." Kaito clenches his hands into fists, looking past them to the flashing police cars and the slowly dispersing crowd. "You caught the murderer?"

"Arrested and handed over to the police." Hattori jabs over his shoulder. "Sorry to keep you waiting."

"It's your job to put criminals in their place," Kaito says, even as the irony of the statement hits him. "So don't apologize for it. Good job. Chibi here nail anyone with anything?"

"Just a soda can," Hattori laughs. Kaito waits for the kid to begin chattering about the murderer's motives and how the murder was committed, but it never comes. "This is probably a bad timing, but do you wanna eat anything?"

His stomach is still churning, but they've only had lunch and he will probably be hungry again in a few hours' time. "I'll probably get something to take home for dinner."

"Conan?"

"Nnnn." The boy latches onto Hattori's leg, and buries his face into the fabric.

"Home it is, then."

Kaito is completely surprised when an officer runs up to them with a giant paper bag, Hattori thanking him and then passing it to him, the stuffed alpaca he's been planning to buy but didn't nestling inside the bag. The detective wouldn't take it back no matter what Kaito said, and didn't let him pay him for it.

"Whatever would I do with it?" Hattori raises an eyebrow, settling the matter with that. "I'm a dude who doesn't need stuffed animals."

"You _bastard_ ," Kaito said feelingly, still in wonder about how Hattori pulled that one over him with the kind gesture.

"Language," chirps Conan.

Conan falls asleep on the train ride back to Ekoda, and Hattori carries him on his back, Kaito stealing pictures of them both and then promising to send some to Hattori's phone. The walk back home is mostly silent, but after the considerable day that they've just had, Kaito is glad that there is no pressure to talk.

"You go on ahead, Kuroba. I'll be fine taking him home by myself."

"Are you sure?" Kaito is careful to speak softly, so that he doesn't wake Conan who is snoozing quietly on Hattori's shoulder. Regardless of his enthusiasm for crime solving and case cracking, it probably is a tiring day for a child. "I really don't mind."

"No offence, but you really don't look too good, and I do plan on crashing one of your shows some day, so you will have to be in top performance in order to evade my criticizing your tricks."

"Oh? So do I have to be prepared for a letter written into the magazine some time soon? 'Teenager scams children in park for a hobby'. Imagine that."

It draws a startled laugh out of Hattori, and Kaito grins despite himself. "I wouldn't go so far."

"Yeah? I don't mind. It's nice to be honourably mentioned. Thanks for Cookie, by the way."

"Don't mention it."

"I'll be heading home, then. It's this way, so I'll leave Conan to you. I'm still gonna pay you back some day."

"I'd love to see you try," Hattori scoffs, then nods at him in lieu of waving goodbye. "See you some other day, Kuroba. Today's been great."

"No murder next time?" Kuroba calls after the pair.

"No guarantees!"

::

It isn't until they are five minutes from home before Conan gives up the act, and lifts his head from Hattori's shoulder. "So? What do you think?"

"Definitely Kid," Hattori answers decisively, changing his grip on Conan. "So this is the guy Hakuba's been obsessing over?"

Conan nods, and Hattori tuts, shaking his head.

"Poor guy."

* * *

A.N: Technically Kuroba thinks he's the wolf in the sheep den, but its actually the complete opposite. Happy New Year! I have no idea why this one was particularly long. Lately, I haven't been feeling this AU much, sadly.


End file.
